Love Dare--Day 12--Love Lets The Other Win

If you need a reminder, today's dare was:

Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your children. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

This day was easier in that the same issue applies to all 3 children. It was also very difficult because it meant that I had to put my feelings aside in order to let them make their own decision about an issue that stands between us.

In order to understand my opinion of this issue, I'll have to give you just a little background history, if you don't know it already.

My children's father was and still is in active drug addiction. This addiction led to much physical, emotional, and verbal abuse, as well as stealing from me and my children, forging checks--and well, I'm sure you get the picture here, and I need not go on.

My own personal preference would be that they have nothing to do with their father. But, they do, not a lot, but they still do. When I hear one of them on the phone with him, and they say, "I love you", I literally cringe!!

So, while my own answer to this situation has been to distance myself and have nothing to do with him, I had to look at their point of view.

This is an issue that continually comes up in our lives. They know how I feel--I know how they feel.

We could be talking about anything, and if their father happens to be mentioned in the conversation, they all look at one another and then at me--like they are waiting for an explosion over in my area of the room. I don't explode, but apparently my emotions are written all over my face (at least, that's what I've been told).

This is a particularly touchy subject when my youngest daughter is visiting from Texas, which was just recently. She wants to go see her father, and she knows it irritates me. Maybe that is what she meant when she said I was a little "guilt-trippy". Probably so.

So, this time, when my youngest daughter stated that she was going to visit her father, and the other two were going with her, I just said, "Okay". She looked at me, astounded!!

I then told all 3 of them of my decision--That he is their father, that is a fact that cannot be changed. I told them that they are adults, needing to make their own decisions in this matter, and whatever that decision is, I will not interfere any longer.

This made for a much pleasant visit with my youngest daughter who I think used to tip-toe around the issue of going to visit her father--knowing that this would upset me. The older two feel more open with me about visiting him, and they even talked about their visit which they never have before, about things that were said during the visit that bothered them, things that their grandparents said or did that bothered them.

There are issues between them and their father that they need to resolve themselves, and I was continually stepping in to try to persuade them to see my point of view.

As I look at this now, a few days later, I can see that my just letting go of this with them will actually be beneficial in the days ahead. Since they now feel that they can discuss things with me without my "interfering", maybe-- just maybe, some of the past issues that they have not dealt with--not let go--will come to the surface and can be discussed in a reasonable manner without so much emotional fallout.

And so we move to Day 13:

Love Fights Fair

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3.25

The dare for the day:

TODAY'S DARE:

Talk with your children about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your children are not ready for this then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

Stop by Chelle's if you get a chance. There are quite a few people doing this "Love Dare", and it's very interesting and inspiring to see what everyone is doing to improve their relationships!

Thankful Thursday

I have been so busy lately. Work, Christmas projects, children, just everything! And God is calling to me today--calling me to His side to just be still and listen for His voice.

The post below by hisfirefly really had an impact upon me. I have read and reread and reread this again and again.

So, today, I am thankful that God has love for me, to speak to me and tell me to be still and just know that He is God, everything is in His control.

A big thank you to Heartlight for the above images and Scriptures. I have pondered and prayed over these verses this morning, and through God's Word, I have been able to obtain the stillness He is calling me to. And make sure to search and read the words in the clouds in the next to the last picture. I wouldn't want you to miss this!!

Beth

Day 11--Love Cherishes

Today's Dare

What need do your children have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Ephesians 5.28-29 says, "Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it."

As I read these verse, I thought about how to apply this to my children. So, I looked up the word "cherish" in the dictionary, and this is what I found:

1 a: to hold dear : feel or show affection for <cherished her friends> b: to keep or cultivate with care and affection : nurture <cherishes his marriage>2: to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely cherishes that memory>

synonyms see appreciate

I went a little further and looked up nurture and appreciate:

Nurture:

1 : training , upbringing 2 : something that nourishes : food 3 : the sum of the environmental factors influencing the behavior and traits expressed by an organism

Appreciate:

1 a: to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of <appreciate the difference between right and wrong> b: to value or admire highly <appreciates our work> c: to judge with heightened perception or understanding : be fully aware of appreciate it> d: to recognize with gratitude appreciates your kindness>2: to increase the value of

Now, I have to say that I certainly have nurtured my children physically as well as I could. I cared for them, fed them the proper foods, and did all the "proper" things a mother is supposed to do for her children--when they were very young.

As for training and upbringing--at a certain point in our lives, their father's drug addiction took over everything else. There was no proper training or upbringing. I was extremely depressed, hospitalized twice for this, and my children were more or less left to their own training and upbringing--which was not the best, of course.

I have spent hours--days--weeks--months--going over this time in my mind, and this time lasted for many, many years. I have felt extremely guilty over this--my children were not neglected, by any means, but I truly wasn't there for them as I should have been. My whole life was taken over by fear. And even more than fear, I felt shame--the shame of what our lives had become.

Was there anyone to share this with? No, no one personal knew. Doctors knew, counselors knew--and I was given the same advice over and over again--"Leave, leave now before things get worse." Did I follow that advice? No, not for many years--until I got to the point that the fear was so overpowering to me that I knew I could do nothing else to help my husband at this time. He needed to want to change these behaviors himself, and he just did not want to.

And, so we all, my children and I lived in fear and near poverty levels.

As for appreciation--I thought I did appreciate my children. But, do I grasp their full significance, their full worth, do I admire them highly, understand them with insightful perception?

Sadly, the answer to these question is "no, I do not." I do not fully appreciate them and I did not fully nurture them--especially through those very important teen years. They were left to their own upraising and training.

I do, however, cherish them. I see them as an extension of myself, part of my own body that gave life to them. I care deeply for them; when they hurt, I hurt; when they are happy over a success in their life, I am also; and they are certainly on my mind quite often, and I cherish my memories of them and look forward to new experiences with them that I can cherish in the future.

As for the dare today, the opportunity to show how I cherish daughter #2 just dropped into my lap. I called her today and asked her if she wanted to go shopping with me this evening if she wasn't working.

She told me that she could because she was no longer employed. She has lost her job of 4 years, which is the longest she has ever held a job. She knew this yesterday, but she didn't share it with me because she thought I would be upset. She has a history of leaving jobs quite unexpectedly, and I have more or less pounded it into her head, "Don't quit a job before you have another one on the horizon."

So, here was my opportunity to cherish her. I told her that this may be the best thing that happened to her in this situation. She was stuck in a dead-end job, no room for advancement, working 60-70 hours a week for unreasonable pay, and many responsibilities fell to her that weren't hers at all.

I supported her instead of telling her that she should have just swallowed all her employer was telling her, in a rather nasty and abusive way, I might add.

We did go shopping, and we talked. She already has had two job interviews, a very good prospect for one of these. The pay is much less, so she has decided to work part-time a few evenings a week to supplement her income.

I congratulated her about this. I truly was hurting for her, but seeing that she took positive steps towards moving on was very uplifting to me. And I told her that these new jobs did not have to be a permanent lifetime change--just jobs to carry her through until she found the "right" job.

We had a better time with each other than we have had in I couldn't even tell you when. We talked, we laughed, we cried, and most of all, we both showed our love and appreciation for each other.

As for daughter #3, I mailed her hot pads to her today with a note inside. I know that she will be glad to receive these, especially since she thinks I completely forgot about them.

And my son--He told me today that he feels that he has moved backwards in some ways, that he is regressing, that he is showing anger in inappropriate ways. I told him that just realizing that his inappropriate behavior was truly inappropriate is not a backwards step, but a forward step. The realization of this is half the battle.

So, now we will move on to Day 12:

Love Lets The Other Win

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2.4

And the dare for Day 12:

TODAY'S DARE

Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your children. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

Remember, Chelle' has posted parts of each chapter of the book on her blog. Be sure and stop by and visit her, read what she has written and the comments of all of us who are doing this dare.

Beth

Garden Vision

I am getting lost in a vision of a garden pool. It is a place of cleansing. It is a place of lush growth. It is warm and cool at the same time. There are many shadows... but the light breaks through on the water and shines brilliantly.

The fragrances are almost overwhelming, so thick it seems like I should be able to touch them, hold them, place them in my own alabaster box.
It is a stone path that leads to the pool. Rocks and stones surround and contain the water. Flowers are floating on the surface.

The water looks so dark and deep. I want to drift, to be engulfed, to be consumed.

There are birds singing. The are angels singing. There are butterflies dancing a dance before their creator.

I need to feel this on my skin. We should need no clothes here. We should have no need to hide before our FATHER or before the lover of our souls.

Let me wash in HIS love. Let me drown in HIS mercies. Let me linger in worship, in awe and in adoration.

Trust

I find it hard to trust the Lord with those that I love.

I need to remember that the Lord is the Creator and the Giver of every good gift. He gave me these loved ones to share my life.

It's hard for me to remember that those I love ultimately belong to the Lord, not to me. He didn't give me these special relationships to tear me apart, or to control me with fear of the future.

Like Abraham did with his only son, I need to open my heart and give back to the Lord those I love. I must learn to trust Him with everything that concerns me regarding them and believe that He holds me, and my loved ones, in the palm of His hand and He will walk with me through all the things that life brings.

Those who trust in the Lord are secure as Mount Zion; they will not be defeated but will endure forever. Psalm 125:1

Love Dare Day 10

I've fallen behind a little here, but I'm in the process of catching up!!

Today, we'll go to Day #10's Dare which was:

Love is Unconditional!

God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.- Romans 5.8

Do something out of the ordinary today for your children- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash the car. Clean the kitchen. Buy a favorite dessert. Fold the Laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their Mom.

This was easy for some of my children, and not so easy for one of them. I'll share how I showed that I made the choice to love my children on this day:

My son: My son lives with me. One of his jobs around our home is to take care of the kitty litter box. Oh, I know--yuck!! But, it is his job, and it is a daily job that definitely needs to be done. I leave for work very early in the morning, and he doesn't leave until the afternoon.

So, I cleaned the litter box--completely emptied, scrubbed it out, and fresh litter put in before he even got up!!

He called me later and said that he thought something was wrong with Scout and Miles--they hadn't used the litter box for an entire day!! I told him that I did this for him before I left for work. He asked me why I did his job for him. My answer: "Because I love you, and I decided to do something for you today."

Surprise, surprise to me!! When I came home from work, my dishes from the night before (which I hadn't had time to do--dinner, rush out the door to a meeting, so they were still waiting for me!) were done!!

And just a quick aside: He still has the note from Day 2 that I wrote to him and put in his car. He told me he wanted to keep it, and he is carrying this in his wallet.

Daughter #2: When she was visiting from Texas, she wanted me to make hot pads for some the girls at her work. She works in a restaurant, and hot plates are being taken out of the oven and carried to their customers. I've made her hot pads in the past to use at her work, and apparently others have commented that they like these. She wanted to take some back to give to her coworkers.

As usual, time got away from us during her visit, and these weren't ready for her to take home on Monday. So, last night, I put aside my other projects that I'm working on for Christmas, and made her 5 hot pads which will be taken to the post office and mailed to her today.

She'll be surprised because I think she thought I just either didn't have the time or completely forgot.

Daughter #1: She was the most difficult one for me to do something for--not because I didn't want to do something for her--it was just very hard for me to think of something!! She is always busy--working 60-70 hours a week, never at home in between--always out in her free time visiting friends, shopping--what could I do?

What would be very special for her? I know that she needs to know that I love her just because she is herself. In fact, as I'm going along in these dares, I'm remembering how many times she has actually said to me that I love the other two children more than her!! And, unfortunately, she really means this--this is not just something that she is saying. She has felt this way for a long time and has expressed this to me many times.

What to do?? What to do??

Now, you must realize that this daughter and I are not in communication very often. Between her life and my life, we don't speak nearly as often as we should--mainly because neither of us just take the time to pick up the phone and even say hello to each other, much less how are you and really want to know how are you--tell me really!!

So, I just picked up the phone and called her to ask! A simple thing really which didn' t take any physical effort on my part--only my time.

She was so surprised to hear from me because I had just talked with her only the day before--totally out of the ordinary for us!! We talked for a while about usual everyday things--and then she let the question drop: "Why are you calling me?"

I told her that I loved her, just wanted to see how she was doing and if there was anything that I could do for her. Now, she knows my financial situation--knows that I am basically dependent upon myself--so whatever I could do for her would not involve much in the way of money.

She thought about this for a while--complete silence on the other end of the phone until I finally asked if she was still there!! And then she said, "You know those hot pads you make? I could really use some of them at my work, too!"

So, back to my scrap cotton yarn and back to crocheting 5 more of these!! And, I loved doing this for her!! I'm going to drop them off at her work on my way home from work today--a surprise drop in visit for her!!

As I'm thinking about this, I'm realizing that the phone call to her was more important to her than anything I could physically do for her--my reaching out and touching her in this way--her knowing that I'm thinking about her.

My children do not know and realize that God loves them, that He has chosen them as His own even though they do not know Him. They know of Him but do not have a relationship with Him.

I am the first one to admit that I have not shown or demonstrated God's love for them through my actions for many, many years.

Now that I have experienced God's love for me, His love and provision for me, even when I was so far from Him, I want them to have this same feeling within themselves.

I know my children well. If I were to "preach" God's word to them, they would completely turn off, go further away. I can just see them shaking their heads, putting their hands up in the air and walking away from me--not wanting to hear what I am saying. They're not ready to "hear".

The only way I can show that God loves them, even though they are still far from them, is through me. I want my children to know Jesus, to know of His unconditional love for them. The only way to do this is through my actions, my choices, my own life--just as God brought me to Him through someone else--just as God showed His love for me through Jesus, while I was still far away, still deep in sin.

This is something that I need to continue to do, on a daily basis--even if this involves just reaching out and touching each of them in some way--maybe an e-mail to the daughter in Texas, dropping a note in the mail to her (I know she loves to get something in the mail other than bills and junk!), picking up the phone and calling the daughter who only lives 5 miles from me, inviting her to eat with my son and I--something everyday so that they know that I love them, I choose to show them my love always.

Father,

I know that you love and care for me. Help me, through your love and strength, to continue to show my love for my own children--just as You show Your love for me every moment of my life.

I haven't always done this to the best of my ability. I have sometimes turned away from them when the going has gotten what I've felt to be too tough for me to handle.

Whenever I feel that way, please place Your Word into my mind--how You loved me even when I was far from you, and help me to show this to my own children--that I love them no matter what--just as they are--seeing them as You see them.

Fill me with Your hope and love, Lord, so that it will spill over onto my children.

In Jesus' most precious name (THANK YOU, JESUS!!!).........Amen


And this brings us to Day 11:

Love Cherishes

Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.- Ephesians 5.28

I'm going to have to change this verse a little--"Mothers ought also to love their own children as their own bodies.....Ephesians 5:28

Today's Dare

What need do your children have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Please make sure and visit Chelle'. She has excerpts written from each chapter of the book which will help you along in your challenges, helping you to see how to show your love for whomever you are doing this dare for--your spouse, your children, a friend.

Beth

Love Dare Day 9

If you will remember, here is Day 9' dare:

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your children today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

When I read about this dare, this brought a particular couple to my mind from my teenage years. This couple lived about 6 houses away from us, and my sister and I used to babysit for them.

He was a pediatrician and she was a nurse. She wasn't working at the time, being a stay at home mom for their 4 young children. They went out quite a bit socially, so we came to know this family fairly well.

They also did a lot of entertaining in their home, mainly dinner parties. When the mom needed to prepare for these she would call my sister and I to come and watch the children.

But, there is one thing that particularly remains in my mind about this couple: Whenever he came home from his office, she would stop whatever she was doing, RUN to the door, and greet him with a hug and a kiss, and a "How was your day, dear?" And if his or her day just wasn't the greatest, they would share about this. It didn't matter what she was doing or if my sister and I were there--they loved each other and shared.

Now, this brings me to my own relationship with my children--how I greet them.

When my children were young, I certainly snuggled with them, hugged them, kissed them, played with them, read to them, and just loved them for being............fast forward 20 some years--

This is a very big OUCH for me!! Reading this chapter in the book made me realize that I have fallen very much aside from doing greeting my children in the proper manner. Sometimes, they're lucky to even get a "Hello" out of me!! And, if I'm doing something, I may not even look up at them.......after all, they are interrupting me!!

So, I need to change this very impolite and unloving aspect of myself!! And I started today!!

We'll start--not in order of age today--but, in the order of loving each of them:

Daughter #2: Oh, she is flying home to Texas as I'm writing this. This morning, she was still asleep as I left for work. I went and knelt beside her, touched her hair, and kissed her on the cheek. I told her how much I love her and that I'm going to miss her.

She was still half asleep, but she reached up, put her arms around me, kissed me, and said, "I love you, too, Mommy!" Mommy!!!! And she is 23 years old and calling me Mommy--I love it!!

My one and only son: He was driving daughter #2 to the airport in Baltimore this morning. He was using my car, so he took me to work. I drove to my work, and then we traded places in the car. As we were passing each other (me to go into work--he into the driver's seat) I reached out, grabbed and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. I then told him that I love him!!

I didn't know how he would react to this since we were in the parking lot at my work. But, he just hugged me back, kissed me on the cheek, and said, "I love you, too, Mutti, and I'll drive safely to the airport and back!"

Daughter #1: Now, I didn't see this daughter today. I knew I wouldn't have the opportunity. So, I called her when I knew she wouldn't be busy at her work. I told her that I loved her, and that we really need to start spending some more time together than we do. She answered in a questioning, "Okay." I told her that I would call her tomorrow night, and we will make definite plans for this upcoming weekend. Again, just an "okay".

I know what the problem here is with this one! When we are together, I usually spend my time with her harping on her, telling her what she is doing that isn't right. This time, however, I'm going to spend my time with her telling her what she IS doing right, focusing on her positives instead of her negatives.

And so we move on to the next day's dare:

Love is Unconditional!

God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.- Romans 5.8

Today's Dare

Do something out of the ordinary today for your children- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash the car. Clean the kitchen. Buy a favorite dessert. Fold the Laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their mother.

For more information and details about what is written in the "Love Dare" book (if you don't have it), please visit Chelle'. She has written highlights of each chapter on her blog. You can follow along with her and read each day's highlights and dares.

And, please, be sure and leave me a comment. I'm doing this only with God's power, might, strength, and most of all His love--showing His love to my children, so they may heal and know that I love them just as they are, just as God loves each one of us.

I need input and encouragement in this endeavor. My children and I have been through quite a lot, and I'm trying to show them that they are worthy of love, worthy of God's love in their lives, and that I see them each of individuals who I love and care for very much.

On With the Love Dare!

If you will remember, Day's 8 challenge was to burn the lists I had made of the negative attributes of my children. I did do this, but not until late in the evening. I wanted to wait until they had left to visit a friend. My youngest is visiting from Texas, so there are a lot of comings and goings right now.

I also didn't want them asking me why I was starting a bonfire in the kitchen sink!!

Actually, I thought this was going to be easy, and as it turned out it wasn't easy at all--not because I didn't want to "burn and destroy" their negative lists, but because this brought up a lot of painful memories of doing something similar in the past.

I have mentioned before that I have tried to take my own life. I had been contemplating this for quite some time, and I had written each of my children letters telling them how much they meant to me--going back to the time when they each had been born, the first time I held them. I also told them how I could take no more of what our lives had become, and that was why I was doing what I was planning to do.

This shows exactly what state of mind I was in. If I loved and cared for them so much, why was I planning on leaving them?

Anyway, my children never saw these letters. I took them to my doctor at the time, and when I was feeling better we shredded them together. He told me that while the letters were beautifully written and very eloquent, they had no place in this world--not for my children, not for me, not for anyone.

So, I did burn their negative lists with a lot of emotions from the past tagging right along.

I also realized how many negative attributes of my own that I display towards my children, both now and in the past. I have sought forgiveness from God for things I have said and done to them, but I have never asked forgiveness from them directly.

I have decided to write them each a letter seeking their forgiveness. That is also on today's agenda of things to do.

All of this said, we will move along!

The second part of this dare after burning the lists was to focus on my children's achievements and share with them how happy I am about a success they recently enjoyed. In other words, become their cheerleader.

Since I am doing all three of once now, I'll list them from oldest to youngest:

My son:

The day before we left to go to Baltimore to pick up my daughter from Texas, he
walked to my work to pick up my car. He changed the oil, and "sparkle-cleaned"
my car--inside and out!! I have to say my car looks brand new, and anyone who
knows me knows that I don't even usually think about things like changing the oil!
So, I told him how much I appreciated this--all of his hard work, his thinking of
doing this, his caring about how the car needs to be taken care of when this is
usually the furthest thing from my mind! He was grinning ear to ear!!

#1 daughter:

My oldest daughter takes after her father's family. She is a large person--
standing almost 5'11", wears a size 11 shoe. She has struggled with her
weight for years, and she was recently diagnosed as being diabetic. I haven't
seen her for a while. She doesn't live far from me, we just haven't gotten
together--another thing that has to change!!

When I saw her when she came to pick up the youngest, I just couldn't believe
my eyes!! This girl has lost almost 60 pounds!! I know how difficult this is for
anyone, but especially when she is looking to lose at least almost 175 pounds
to be even near her goal weight.

She looks fantastic!! and I told her so!! I congratulated her on her weight lost,
told her how much better she must feel. She just was talking a mile a minute
about how many sizes she has gone down, how she can buy "almost" regular
clothes now, and also how her asthma has improved with this weight loss!
And, to top it all off--she has been able to stop her diabetic medication and is
diet-controlled now!! A big congratulations and a big hug went to her for all
these accomplishments, and another child grinning from ear to ear!!

#2 daughter:

My youngest lives in Texas--going to school full time, working full time. She
maintains a 3.8 to 4.0 average in school. She even brought some school work
with her to do so she doesn't fall behind while being here for 4 days. She has
decided that living in Texas, she needs to be bilingual, and she is studying
her Spanish diligently. Since she is here for these 4 days, she was going to miss
a test in one of her classes. She talked with the professor and took the test
before leaving so she wouldn't miss doing this. This is my daughter who used
to be afraid to talk to anyone!!

So, a big congratulations to her also!! I told her how proud I am of her, working
and studying so hard, taking matters into her own hands so that she wouldn't
fall behind in her school work. Another child grinning ear to ear!!

This was so easy to do--focusing on their positives and building these children up this way. All I had to do was refocus myself!! I intend to stay in this focus and continue building them up--these 3 of mine that I love dearly and have been beaten down and hurt by too many of life's circumstances.

And so we move on to Day 9:

Love Makes Good Impressions

Greet one another with a kiss of love.- 1 Peter 5.14

Today's Dare

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your children today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

I've read in the "Love Dare" book about this, and it has brought a specific couple to my mind already. Be back later with the conclusion of this story (oh, I sound like Paul Harvey, don't I?)

Love Dare Day 7

Going back a few steps in my Love Dare-- My son is very curious about what I'm doing because I haven't shared with him the reasons I am asking him questions like "What are 3 things about me that irritate you?"

And then, since I asked him, he decided to ask my eldest daughter the same question--"What are three things about Mutti that irritate you?" Her answer--"EVERYTHING!!"

Now, I just found this very curious since my son said he could find nothing!! But, my relationship with this daughter has always been a cautious one. We tend to dance around issues rather than discussing them, and then she usually just gets angry and leaves. She tends to pout and throw tantrums until she gets her own way. And just so you know, she is 25, and still she throws tantrums!!

Then she decided not to speak to me for two days!! However, with the arrival of her younger sister from Texas yesterday, she knew she would have to see me in order to see her!! So, last night, she came to pick up the youngest, and I questioned her about this (very carefully, of course!)

She said that she didn't really mean it--she just has a lot on her mind with her job right now, and she was taking this out on me. But, I do know for a fact that there are things about me that bother her, and she just isn't telling me.

I asked the youngest on the way home from the airport. She said that sometimes I'm a little "guilt-trippy". And, yes, I know that I can do that--it's just never been presented to me before like this. I know that I can lay on the guilt (SELFISHNESS, PRIDE, IMPATIENCE!!) with all of my children.

So, this is something I really need to work on--thinking before I speak, thinking about what I am going to say and how it will make them feel.

As for the oldest daughter--she and I have been doing this dance she was 12, and it's high time this stopped. I don't know exactly what I do that bothers her, but I do know that she and I can irritate each other to the point of saying things to each other that we really don't mean--ANGER!! Mean, nasty, feeling-hurting things.

I read somewhere (I don't remember where) that you may forget the exact words that someone has said to you, but it's just not that easy to forget the way those words made you feel.

All of this said--I'm ready to move on to Day 7 which was:

Love Believes the BEST!

...(Love) believes all things, hopes all things. -I Corinthians 13:7

Today's Dare

For Today's Dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your children. Then do the same with negative things on the second piece. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and think your children for having this characteristic.

My day being spent yesterday in Baltimore, I didn't have time to do this yesterday. So, I spent my lunch at work making these lists.

I started with my oldest, my son. It was very easy to list his positive attributes. He is giving, caring of other people, usually very easy going, willing to help me and others in any way. He works very hard at his job, and he is very dedicated. He usually exhibits patience.

However, his negative attributes I found a little harder to list because as I examined them I found that they were so insignificant that I really didn't want to list them! The main thing that I know is negative about him that is very significant is that he doesn't let go of things and doesn't forgive easily. Also, even though he is mainly patient, when things get to be too much for him, he tends to explode into anger in appropriate ways. The fact that sometimes he doesn't pick up after himself and can basically be rather messy just didn't seem so important right now.

Then, I moved on to my youngest daughter. Again, her positive attributes were easy to list--a good sense of humor, understanding of others, truly listening to others, a caring attitude and again willing to help others. She has been my mainstay here on earth through many a storm. She does let go of things and forgives others. She works hard at her job and in her schooling, and she also is very dedicated..

Her negative attributes were also rather difficult. She does have them--she gets upset easily over small, insignificant things and tends to make bigger than they really are. When she gets angry, she screams!! She also has a tendency to belittle people sometimes, not much, just enough that when I thought about it it came to my mind.

Now, my oldest daughter--my middle child. She also has positive attributes--she can be very loving, very caring. When I was sick this past summer, she was the one who was there for me--taking me to appointments, running errands. She, too, has a good sense of humor and is a hard worker at her job.

Her negative attributes, however, were much easier to list than her positives. This kind of upset me because I found it difficult in the other two. As I mentioned earlier, she has temper tantrums when she doesn't get her own way--in anything!! She doesn't budget her money properly, is constantly borrowing from others and not paying them back!! She tends to drink a little more than I would like.

She is very strong willed, and I can see this as a positive and also a negative.

In reading over what I just wrote, I can see that I need to spend more time in the Appreciation Room rather than the Depreciation Room.

I, too, have many faults, and haven't they been covered over with the love of God? Hasn't He been able to look beyond these faults and see me for the person I will and can become as a result of His love? And didn't He send His only Son to earth so that I could see Him in human form?

And, above all else--didn't He sacrifice His only Son so that I could have forgiveness of all my sins, all my faults--looking beyond these things to seek me and see me only with His unconditional love.

This is what I need to do--spend more time appreciating my children for their good attributes, praising them when they exhibit these good attributes and downplaying the negatives--instead of

focusing on the negatives.

I know I wouldn't like it someone only focused on my negative qualities, and yes, there are quite a few as I examine myself. So why would they even like me focusing only on their negative qualities.

Yes, I definitely need to spend more time in the Appreciation Room!!

The Dare for tomorrow--Day 8:

Love Is Not Jealous

Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire. - Song of Solomon 8.6

Today's Dare

Determine to become your children's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your children and focus on their achievements, take Yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your children how glad you are about a success he/she recently enjoyed.

Love Dare

I have decided to move my "Love Dare" to "The Power of Your Love" because I know that I can only do this through God's power, strength, might, wisdom and love in my life.

So, I need to backtrack a little to Day 5. If you have been following along with me on warmHarte, you will already know that my son has told me that there is absolutely nothing that I do that irritates him or makes him uncomfortable. Now, I found that hard to believe, so I asked him to think about this a little.

I again approached me about this later in the evening, and still he had nothing. I have already posted this on Chelle's blog, but I will copy this so, that you can see what has occurred:

I asked my son what are 3 things that I do that irritate him or make him uncomfortable.

He told me, "Nothing". And then asked me why I am asking him this question. I told him that I am trying to improve my relationships because our relationships with people are very important. Then he wanted to know if I'm going to do this with his two sisters--ask them this question. And I told him that yes, I was, but later.

I asked him to think about it--surely there must be something I do that irritates him!

Then, last night, I told him that I know something that I do that bothers him. And I told him what that was--when I am upset about something I go into my room and shut the door.

And, he agreed that this does bother him because one time, many years ago, I did this and tried to harm myself, tried to take my own
life, and he still is seeing the door shutting as that incident.

This was good that I brought this up to him because I was able to reassure him that I will never, ever do anything like that again. Life just had the better of me for too many years, I didn't know where to turn or what to do--obviously I didn't have Jesus in my life at that time!

I am learning so much already--I now know that when I am feeling stressed or upset about something, that he would rather I talk it out with him than sequester myself in my bedroom having a pity party!

This was my posting to Chelle's blog who is hosting this study.

I have thought very deeply about this--this time in my life--and how much this most have hurt my children, their losing their trust in me--that my now simple act of shutting a door can evoke such terrible memories for my son. And feelings of guilt have flooded me.

I have spent much time in prayer over this. I have already asked for forgiveness for this act of mine long ago, but now I realize that I need to go back, talk this over with God again, again seek His wisdom in this, and ask Him to relieve these feelings of guilt in me and to place trust of me back into my son's heart.

This said, I will move on to Day 6 which has proved to be a most interesting and challenging day:

Day 6- Love is not IRRITABLE!

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16.32

I have affirmed myself with this verse: When Beth is slow to anger, she will be made strong, and God, who rules her spirit, will recapture the hearts of her children.

And here is the dare for Day 6:

Today's Dare

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your relationship with your children in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

If you will notice, I have changed some wording in this dare. I have changed marriage to "your relationship with your children". It seems that my older daughter has some issues of her own that need addressed now rather than later as I had planned.

So, I'm going to try and accomplish this with both my son and my oldest daughter at the same time.

Areas where I need to add margin to my schedule:

• Allow myself some time alone with each of them, to truly listen to what they are telling me instead of plowing ahead with my own agenda.

• After to listening to what they are telling me, I need to think before I speak. So many times, what I want for them and for their lives just isn't on their own agenda right at that moment.

• I need to put aside my own frustrations and feelings and consider their feelings and frustrations at this point in their own lives, and seek the wisdom of God as to how to answer them. If I answer them right at that moment, I more than likely will say something to irritate them since they have irritated me! (SELFISHNESS!!)

• If I need to ask them for time to consider their request of me or to prayerfully consider what they are going through, that is okay. (PATIENCE!)

• And again, patience--I need to be patient with them. They have gone through a lot in their short lives. I need to put aside my own feelings and help them deal with theirs.

• I need to put myself aside (PRIDE!!) and ask God what is best for these children. Yes, they are adults in age, but as I'm looking and studying this, I'm seeing that in some instances their development has stopped at the teenage level. They are still living their lives in the past, and they need to be helped into the present.
  

Now, I'll move on to Day 7' s dare:

Love Believes the BEST!

...(Love) believes all things, hopes all things. -I Corinthians 13:7

Today's Dare

For Today's Dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your children. Then do the same with negative things on the second piece. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and think your children for having this characteristic.

I have again changed the wording of this from spouse to "your children". I'll be back tomorrow to let you know the results of this day's dare.

Super Sunday

I'm joining Peggy with a Super Sunday!! I'm climbing a mountain right now, and I'm praying for that mountain to move!! Only Jesus has the power and through prayer I have committed myself and my son to God, humbly asking Him for the strength and might to change this situation to show all His glory!!

Lyrics to Mighty to Save by Hillsongs

Everyone needs compassion,
A Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness,
A Kindness of a savior
The Hope of nations

(Chorus:)
Saviour,
He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever,
Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

(Chorus:)
Saviour,
He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever,
Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

(Bridge:)
Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing, for the glory of the risen king,
Jesus Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen king

Finding Your Own Quiet Place

I have edited my previous "Quiet Time" post to share my journalings and my prayer this morning to share with you. Please go back and read over these, and if you feel led, offer up a prayer of your own.

If you haven't found your own quiet place yet, here are a few hints:

• Determine when is your "freshest" time. Whether the morning, the afternoon, the evening, or a combination of these times, you'll want to spend your most alert time to share with God and listen to what He has to say to you.

• Do this daily!! This is a discipline that soon becomes a wonderful habit that you will look forward to.

• Make sure your own "quiet place" is a place where you can read your Bible, pray out loud, write your journalings without distraction or interruptions. This can be any place--outside in a garden, in your bedroom, in your basement, in your car--wherever you can be alone with God.

• After you have finished praying, be still. Be still and wait for God to answer you. I always ask, "God, is there anything you want or need to tell me today?" And then, I am still. You may not feel God's presence with you the first few times you do this, but hang in there! Soon you will feel your spirit filled with God's Holy Spirit--guiding you, directing you, leading you where HE wants you to go!!Blessings to all of you. I pray that this has been a blessing to you as you find your own quiet time with God.

And, remember, as His Firefly said, "He is just waiting for you to arrive!"

Beth

Praise and adoration

Heavenly Father, Lord over all

Ruler before and after the fall

Humbled I come and I fall to my knees

Awed by Your grace and unending mercies.

Nothing I have done, could ever be

Worth all the love You have given to me

God became flesh, but from flesh You have risen

That all our sins, every one is forgiven.

All I can do now is worship and praise

The Bearer of light, the Ancient of days.

You are my first, You are my last

You know my future and my past

Alpha, Omega, high and exalted One

Lion and Lamb, Father and Son.

Who was, and is, and will be King

I join the angels as they sing....

"Blessing and glory and wisdom

and thanksgiving and honor

and power and might

be to our God for ever and ever! Amen."

Revelation 7:12

A Quiet Time With God--The Lord's Prayer--ACTS

When Jesus' disciples saw Him praying, they knew they were seeing something important, something special. The had seen Jesus going off by himself to commune with His Father, and they wanted to learn how to pray also. So, they asked Him. This request of the disciples is written in Luke 11:1-4:

1One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples."

2He said to them, "When you pray, say:
" 'Father,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come.
3Give us each day our daily bread.
4Forgive us our sins,
for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.
And lead us not into temptation. "

Now, we know that Jesus taught in parables--stories so that people could understand what He was telling them based on their own experiences.

This prayer has been used over and over--said just as is--and there is nothing wrong with that--as long as we stop and think what each sentence means to us personally in our relationship with God. I know that growing up, we always said this prayer at the end of each church service. This became more of a memorization habit rather than a true prayer. We were just saying the words with no thoughts, no feelings--just words said out our memory bank.

Peggy left a comment on my previous post regarding the ACTS prayer pattern. And yes, Peggy, that is exactly what I was doing!! I will often take a Scripture, read it, reread it, ponder over it and then pray the Scripture in my own words using the ACTS prayer pattern.

What is this-the ACTS prayer pattern? It is very simple to remember:

A-----Adoration:

Come to the Lord, praising Him for who He is, awesome, mighty, powerful, creator of the universe--however you are feeling that is wonderful about God to you today. Tell Him how much He means to you and how much you love Him!

C-----Confession:

Confess your sins to God. Ask Him for forgiveness, repent.

T-----Thanksgiving:

Thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon you. Tell Him how grateful you are and given Him a great big 'Thank You"!!

S------Supplication:

Tell God what is on your mind, your concerns, your needs, what areas you
need help in. Ask Him questions about what is going on in your life at the present time. Pray for others, asking God about the needs and concerns need to be met in their lives.

Jesus often went off alone, to a quiet place, early in the morning. I, myself, am a morning person. I am at my freshest early in the morning, there are no distractions, no one vying for my attention. So, my quiet time is in the morning, before I ever start my day. I've tried to have my quiet time at the end of the day, and I, unfortunately, have a tendency to doze off in the middle of my prayer time.

So, here are our assignments for today:

• Determine when your freshest time of the day is and commit this time to the LORD.

Any of you who know me, know that I am definitely a morning person. My time of arrival
at my work is 7 a.m. However, I arise usually between 4:30 and 6 a.m. I am at my
freshest, and this is my time to devote to my "quiet time", my time to spend uninterrupted
with God, talking with Him, listening to Him. I have committed this time to Him, and Him
alone. This begins as a discipline that soon becomes a wonderful habit to look forward to.
And remember, if you don't show up, God is still there waiting for you!! As Firefly stated
in her comment, He is just waiting for you to arrive, and He will reap great blessings in
your life!

• Find one of your favorite Scriptures--read it, reread it, ponder over this and write a prayer to God using the ACTS prayer pattern.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so
that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit....

Roman 15:13

My Father, I know that You are Lord over all, capable of all things great and small. My
praise is for You and You alone. You are the God of hope, joy, peace, love, kindness,
patience. Am I deserving of all of this from You? And yet, You still love me. How can I
even begin to thank you for your love and kindness? Still my heart this morning and
fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that I am able to show Your love, Your hope, Your
peace to everyone I encounter today.

I confess to You, LORD!! You know my sins--and yet You still love me! I confess to You
my anger towards others who have caused pain in the life of my children. I have forgiven,
but yet sometimes these emotions come flooding back to me, and I need to go back and
forgive yet again. Please help me to forgive so that You may forgive me of my sins.

And today, Lord, I thank you. I thank you for loving me, for guiding and directing me--
always towards You, focusing on You--giving me the strength to carry on. I thank you
for providing for me, even when I was far from you, You still provided my daily needs.
You have bestowed blessing upon blessing upon me--my spiritual family, my children,
and more than anything else, Your own Son--Jesus. Where would I be without You in
my life? I, thank you, Jesus, for sacrificing Your life for me--yes, for me--so unworthy,
so sinful, and yet You still saw me, loved me and gave Yourself for me.

Today, Lord, I ask you to help me to see others as You see them, not as I see them--just
as you see me--not the person that I am, but the person that I can and will become
in You. Let Your hope overflow in me so that others will come to You and feel Your
love and peace in their lives.

I pray for my children, particularly my son at this time. He is so full of anger, self doubt,
and letting the past control his life. Please help me to help him let go of this so that he,
too, can come to you and feel your love and peace in his life. I know that you can move
mountains, and I am humbly asking you to soften his hardened heart. I commit myself
and my son to You because only You can do this in Him, and I need your help, power,
might and strength.

I also pray for my friend, Linda, suffering from so much back pain. Please heal her,
Lord. Ease her pain. Guide with Your wisdom all that are caring for her in this time
so that she may recover and continue in Your work. And again, a thanks--thank you for
sending Linda into my life and for her obeying You--guiding me back to You. I will never
turn my face from You again.

All of this I pray in Jesus' most Precious Name,

Amen.

• Using "The Lord's Prayer" as a model, take each line and write what this means to you personally.

Our Father in Heaven: My Father--You reign above me, You created the
universe and all is in Your control.

Hallowed be Your Name: You are Holy, wise, loving, mighty to save.

Your Kingdom come: May Your Kingdom reign here on earth as well as in
Heaven. May we always look ahead and focus towards
the day when Jesus comes again.

Your will be done: May Your will control my life, not my own. May I always
look to You for answers and guidance.

On earth as it is in
Heaven: Let Your will reign here on earth, God. Make Your will known
to us. Help us to become more Christ-like--day by day,
moment by moment--as we will be in Heaven.

Give us this day our
daily bread: Please provide for us our needs for this day and this day
alone, just as You did for the Israelites. Help me not to
worry or be concerned about tomorrow knowing that You
will provide for me day by day.

Forgive us our sins: Forgive us of our sins as we confess to you, O LORD. Help
us to repent and mend our ways so that we may be Holy in
Your sight. Cleanse my heart, mind and soul of all I confess
to You.

As we forgive those who
have sinned against us: Help me to forgive those who have sinned against me. Help
me to completely forgive, and when I realize that I have not
to willingly come back to You for the help and guidance
that I need.

Lead us not into
temptation: Help me to stay away from people, places and things that
may lead me astray from Your will in my life.

But, deliver us from evil: Help me to realize when the evil one is at work in my life
and to seek You even more fervently during these times
so that You may guide, direct and deliver me. Keep me
safe in Your loving arms and embrace.

Amen: So be it--Your Will be done.

• Write a list of the things you have talked with God about today.

Joy
Peace
Love
Hope
Trust
Forgiveness
Anger
Control issues
The Lord's Prayer and what it means to me
Healing for my son and Linda

Tomorrow, I'll share some of of my own journalings, how to find your own quiet place (if you don't have an idea of this already) and committing this time and place to God.

Beth

A Quiet Time With God--Where I Came From--Where I Am Now--Shared Journalings

If you have read my warmharte post, you will know that I am a day behind.

In order for you to understand why this study is important to me, I want to share with you where I came from.

I was raised in a church that was very concerned with the legalities of religion, what was appropriate and not appropriate for their particular denomination.

Yes, I knew all the facts, I knew that Jesus had come, lived, suffered and died for me. But, I did not have a relationship with Him. All I had were the facts.

When I started attending the church I now go to (thank you, Linda!), I would be walking down a hallway and hear someone say, "I'll be praying about that", or I would walk into the restroom and find two or more people praying together, very fervently.

I didn't understand this--in the church I came from, we did not pray! Only the pastor of the church prayed at the end of the service, and this was a very generalized prayer.

I did not understand why these people were offering to pray for one another, praying together in what seemed (at the time) to be inappropriate places, and most of all, I just didn't know how to pray!

I remember when my mother passed away, the pastor came to our home and he offered to pray with us. This was not a pray for comfort, for help in our grieving. He simply asked for God to be with us. At the time, I thought to myself that this was a rather trite prayer--asking God to be with us--wasn't He already with us always?

So, I needed to learn to pray. In this, I am still a "baby", moving on up to toddler--just still taking my faltering steps. But, I am learning.

I have edited the previous post and shared some of my journalings from Wednesday. I ask you to read what I have written and please share with me. As I stated earlier, I am in the early stages of learning, and I would love to know what you think.

I'll be back later today to move on to the second part of how I am learning to have a quiet time with God.

Have a blessed day!

Beth

A Quiet Time With God--The Beginning

Before we begin, I just want to make this perfectly clear. I am far from an expert on prayer. I have been wanting to enhance my prayer life, my time with God. So, I did some reading on this subject and just wanted to share with you what I have learned.

Also, if you haven't read the previous post, you might want to go back and look it over before beginning today.

Now, are we all ready to begin? Do you have your Bible, a small notebook, a pen or pencil and yourself? Okay--here we go!!




We are all on a spiritual journey, and we are all on different places in our walk with our Lord. Some of us are baby Christians, some are toddlers taking their first wobbly steps, some are in their teens, and some are mature adults.

But, whatever level we are one in our own personal life, I think that each of use realize and understand that the most intimate communion with God comes through prayer.

The apostle Paul knew this when he wrote:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with Thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds
in Christ Jesus."

Phillippians 4:6-7

So, how do we accomplish this? How do we achieve this peace? How do we learn to talk with God, a quiet time with God every day--a time that we look forward to and don't try to squeeze into our busy schedules. This is what we are going to discover together over the next several days.

In my readings, I have discovered the fact that if we want the best information about any subject, we need to go to an expert in that particular field. If we want to become good at something--a sport, playing the piano. and yes, praying, we need to practice.

In order to learn to pray effectively, consistently, have that quiet time with God every day in our lives, we need to practice and discipline ourselves. Most importantly, we need to study the expert in this field.

We need to look at the person of Jesus Christ. No one has ever prayed more fervently, had more intimate conversations with His Father, or understood the power of prayer more than Jesus. He is the expert of prayer. We are going to examine how Jesus prayed and learn how to apply this to our own lives.

God is willing, ready and able. He is waiting for us to come to into His presence expectantly every day--with an attitude of worship, faith in Him, trust in Him, hope in Him, love for Him--just waiting for us to speak intimately with Him.

No concern of ours is too small or too big for God to handle. We are HIS children, and He wants to hear from us. Think of your own children--are you happy when you pick up the phone and hear their voice? Does it make you feel joyful when you are able to give your children a gift--something they have been longing to have?

Now, apply your own feelings about your children to God's feelings about His children. How much greater joy will God receive when we speak to God, come to Him with our praise, our thanks, our needs and concerns--no matter how great or small.

Paul writes in Romans 8:16-17:

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit
that we are God's children.
Now if we are children, then we are heirs--
heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ,
if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that

we may share in His glory."

This is an absolute promise from God. He will cover us with His blessings because we are His children, sons and daughters of the King, and heirs to His Kingdom!

Now, it's time to journal for today:

• Reread the above Scriptures and describe how these verses speak to you personally about each and every need in your life.

Just reading these verses from Phillippians gives me peace. Knowing that I can take my
anxieties, my cares and concerns, my needs (no matter how great or small) to God,
present them to Him, knowing He is in control (no, not me!) relieves me and brings me
tranquility and peace. Sometimes, I will go over and over things in my own mind,
discussing whatever the problem or need is with others, and in my head I already am
telling myself, "I know, I know what the answer is." I have presented this to God already
and He has answered me. It's a matter of moving my head knowledge to my heart.

• Read Psalm 86:5-7. If you don't have a Bible, I have these verses here for you. Meditate on these verses and express in your journal about this makes you feel, knowing that God will answer you.

I feel a great sense of relief!! Knowing that God hears me, will answer me (maybe not in
the way I expected), and knowing beyond a doubt that His will is what is perfect and best
for me. I know that whatever is on my mind, I can bring to Him (He knows
already, anway!) in prayer, and He will embrace me, cry with me, laugh with me, and see
me through. He has never let me go--even when I was far from Him. I am His child and
He loves me always.

• Write a prayer of thanks to God for what you are learning from His Word.

My Father---I thank you for your Word, where I can go in any circumstance in my life,
and learn what You have spoken. There is much in your Word that I do not truly
understand. Please open my heart and mind to your teachings, so that I may follow
You more closely.

• Write your prayers to God, asking Him questions, telling Him your needs, your fears, any concerns you may have.

Abba--I love you. You are mighty and powerful and hold the entire world in Your hands.
I confess to you my sins, some of which I have committed knowingly, and some unknow-
ingly. Please forgive me and help me to learn to have faith and trust in You completely.
Help me to surrender my total life to You, not holding back any part, not even the
smallest part. I want to be totally Yours in all ways.

Help me to find the quiet time to spend with You, not squeezing You in at the end of my
busy day when I am too tired to listen to what You have to say to me.

I pray for my children who do not know You. I fear for them, Lord. Please let them see
You shining in my life, see the changes You have made in me, and bring them to You.

Please help me to bring my anxieties, concerns and fears to You before they overwhelm
me, not after!! Help me to seek You more and more each moment of my life.

• Write a list of what you have talked with God about today.

Trust
Confidence
Surrender
My children
God's Word
Fear, anxieties
Feeling overwhelmed

I'll be back tomorrow to share my journalings with you. If you are participating in this with me, please let me know. Your journals are your own private communion with God, but if you have anything you would like to share, please do so by either linking to your own blog or leaving a comment.

Then, on Friday, we'll move on to your own personal quiet place with God and how He will be waiting for you to come and meet Him there.

Have a blessed day!

Beth