Monday, October 27, 2008

Love Dare Day 9

If you will remember, here is Day 9' dare:

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your children today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

When I read about this dare, this brought a particular couple to my mind from my teenage years. This couple lived about 6 houses away from us, and my sister and I used to babysit for them.

He was a pediatrician and she was a nurse. She wasn't working at the time, being a stay at home mom for their 4 young children. They went out quite a bit socially, so we came to know this family fairly well.

They also did a lot of entertaining in their home, mainly dinner parties. When the mom needed to prepare for these she would call my sister and I to come and watch the children.

But, there is one thing that particularly remains in my mind about this couple: Whenever he came home from his office, she would stop whatever she was doing, RUN to the door, and greet him with a hug and a kiss, and a "How was your day, dear?" And if his or her day just wasn't the greatest, they would share about this. It didn't matter what she was doing or if my sister and I were there--they loved each other and shared.

Now, this brings me to my own relationship with my children--how I greet them.

When my children were young, I certainly snuggled with them, hugged them, kissed them, played with them, read to them, and just loved them for forward 20 some years--

This is a very big OUCH for me!! Reading this chapter in the book made me realize that I have fallen very much aside from doing greeting my children in the proper manner. Sometimes, they're lucky to even get a "Hello" out of me!! And, if I'm doing something, I may not even look up at them.......after all, they are interrupting me!!

So, I need to change this very impolite and unloving aspect of myself!! And I started today!!

We'll start--not in order of age today--but, in the order of loving each of them:

Daughter #2: Oh, she is flying home to Texas as I'm writing this. This morning, she was still asleep as I left for work. I went and knelt beside her, touched her hair, and kissed her on the cheek. I told her how much I love her and that I'm going to miss her.

She was still half asleep, but she reached up, put her arms around me, kissed me, and said, "I love you, too, Mommy!" Mommy!!!! And she is 23 years old and calling me Mommy--I love it!!

My one and only son: He was driving daughter #2 to the airport in Baltimore this morning. He was using my car, so he took me to work. I drove to my work, and then we traded places in the car. As we were passing each other (me to go into work--he into the driver's seat) I reached out, grabbed and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. I then told him that I love him!!

I didn't know how he would react to this since we were in the parking lot at my work. But, he just hugged me back, kissed me on the cheek, and said, "I love you, too, Mutti, and I'll drive safely to the airport and back!"

Daughter #1: Now, I didn't see this daughter today. I knew I wouldn't have the opportunity. So, I called her when I knew she wouldn't be busy at her work. I told her that I loved her, and that we really need to start spending some more time together than we do. She answered in a questioning, "Okay." I told her that I would call her tomorrow night, and we will make definite plans for this upcoming weekend. Again, just an "okay".

I know what the problem here is with this one! When we are together, I usually spend my time with her harping on her, telling her what she is doing that isn't right. This time, however, I'm going to spend my time with her telling her what she IS doing right, focusing on her positives instead of her negatives.

And so we move on to the next day's dare:

Love is Unconditional!

God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.- Romans 5.8

Today's Dare

Do something out of the ordinary today for your children- something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash the car. Clean the kitchen. Buy a favorite dessert. Fold the Laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their mother.

For more information and details about what is written in the "Love Dare" book (if you don't have it), please visit Chelle'. She has written highlights of each chapter on her blog. You can follow along with her and read each day's highlights and dares.

And, please, be sure and leave me a comment. I'm doing this only with God's power, might, strength, and most of all His love--showing His love to my children, so they may heal and know that I love them just as they are, just as God loves each one of us.

I need input and encouragement in this endeavor. My children and I have been through quite a lot, and I'm trying to show them that they are worthy of love, worthy of God's love in their lives, and that I see them each of individuals who I love and care for very much.


Peggy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peggy said...

Blessings Beth....BRAVO!!! I read this and wondered how you would do this greeting thing or today's cherish part with your children but
I knew you'd find a way. How beautiful! How amazing and how thoughtful! It truly is remarkable when we can recall couples that showed love toward each other from our childhood. So I know that you think what do your grown children remember from what they witnessed!
Some day you may have to go there with with, to that place of pain & allow them to share without feeling guilty or shame but complete love!
The kind Our Father has when He looks at us, like Jesus when He thinks of our struggles, like the Spirit as He refreshes us with healing. May you feel that as you
continue in the Love dare!

Knittin Kudzu said...


I cannot begin to tell you how much the saga of your Love Dare has touched my heart! You are so precious to share such tender and transparent emotions with us. I so admire you for using the Love Dare on your adult children! I have a dear friend who is struggling with a prodigal and I have urged her to use the Love Dare as a way of reaching out. She has purchased the book and I am praying that their hearts will be transformed as a result. Thank you so much for your living, breathing testimony of God's love in action!


Denise said...

I am so proud of you for doing this challenge.

NVRGVUP said...

Thank you so much for posting information regarding applying the Love Dare to children. We are having a difficlt time with our 19-year old son who has been brought up in the church and also taught to love and respect everyone. I have been thinking about using the love Dare for both him and my husband at the same time but have not acted on it, this is a confirmation that I should. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you in this way because I have been blessed by this post and I will try to keep you posted on my progress.