In the busyness of life these last few days I have not had time to write, so here is something I have on file but have not yet shared. This was one of the first assignments from the Communion With God course I completed at Christian Leadership University. I was to write a love letter to Jesus and let Him respond back to me.
My dear Lord Jesus,
It feels odd to be writing this letter to you. As an assignment for class I am to write to you a love letter, but I don’t know if I have the words to express all that is in my heart. You Who gave everything for me, a lost and bitter woman, how do I thank You? How do I describe You? Glory beyond glory. Someone beyond imagination, in fact so far beyond imagination I struggled to believe in You. What a day it was when I surrendered that first time, giving You entry into my life, knowing that things had to change. And change they did indeed! Because of You. Because of Your love. Because of Your patience.
I have lost so many desires for the things of this world. They have grown tasteless. And those that still retain a taste, it is bitter and unpalatable. It is You I seek. It is You I desire. I want to soak in Your fragrance, the sweetness and spice. You spoke to me once about waiting in a garden for me and that I was to make myself ready. Are you still waiting? I couldn’t bear to think You had already gone.
I love You, Lord Jesus, even as I am not sure I know You, I love what I know. And I love what I have imagined. I love knowing that you searched for me as a lost lamb and hold me gently in Your arms. Oh, to feel those arms around me. Perhaps I am afraid to come close because once in Your presence I would never want to leave. Help me to surrender again, all that I am and all that I have, so I would have no fear of leaving something behind and can fully get lost in Your presence. Perhaps then I can take that presence to others who do not know You.
Here I am, my Lord, my Savior, the only One who could redeem my life. Here I am waiting. Help me to come into Your arms. Help me to love as You love. So when I say “I love You, I love You, I love You” it is with the love that You Yourself taught me.
Don’t you know you are already in my arms? I have not for one moment ever let you go. There are times that you feel I am distant, but it is you, not I who’s thoughts wander away. My thoughts are for you, not against you, always and forever. The forces of the enemy and the forces of the world you live in would have you imagine there is distance between us, but that is not the truth. There is not even a breath between us. If you could really feel how close we are, you would feel cradled and warm. Not a thought of yours escapes Me. I know your thoughts before you do, my dearest one. I know when you will be misled and I ache until your thoughts return to me. Yes, I still wait for you, will forever wait for you. For even as I have you, I want more and more and more of you. The same hunger that you desire to have for me, already burns within me for you. You are the one I bled for. You are the one I died for. You are the one I claimed as my own when I rose again in victory.
Is it hard for you to understand my ways? I spoke to my disciples in parables. But let me clear now. My love is here and my love is true. Nothing will change my love for you. It was and is and ever will be, just as I was and am, and evermore will be. Learn to rest in that truth and shut out any voice that tries to tell you otherwise.
And yes, you are questioning if your love is good enough for me. That makes me giggle, it tickles me. Who do you suppose instilled that love in you? It is already my love living within you, my dear. But if you want to give me more, then give me more, I will receive it!
Oh Lord Jesus, how I thrill to hear of Your unfailing love. Yes, let me love You more! Let me cast away thoughts of unworthiness, for indeed I am not worthy, but it is not about me. I am Yours, now and always, and righteous in my Father’s eyes because of You. Oh if I could I would kiss You!