Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Moment of Vulnerability

16At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. 17But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth. 18The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.....2 Timothy 4:16-18

Okay, so I have to admit that I've been feeling a little lonely lately. I am single--divorced now for almost 2 years after 2 separations that total 5 years.

I see couples together--couples that are living their marriages and relationship through God, and this makes me lonely. I come home from work to an empty home, and this makes me lonely. I eat dinner alone, no partner to have conversation with, and this makes me lonely. I go to bed at night, alone, and again I feel the sometimes emptiness of my life.

My family no longer speaks to me because of my beliefs, and the best, the most--ALL--I can do is to pray for them.

I go to work for 8 hours every day, keep myself busy in the evenings--yet still my mind wanders.

At times, I do feel deserted and as though there is no one by my side to give me the support that I need to carry me through the days, the weeks, the years.

And then, as I read these verses, I realize that I do have everything I need in this life. God will never desert me. He will always stand at my side and give me the strength that I need. He hears my cries regarding my family and my vulnerabilities, and He understands--more than I can ever imagine.

So, I will wait expectantly upon God to continue working in my life. I know that He will fulfill whatever needs I may have.

I need to focus my eyes, my heart, my mind upon Jesus. He is the only One that can fill this great emptiness I am feeling.

My Father,

Help me to keep my focus on You and You alone. Help me to always be aware of your presence in my life, moment to moment.

I know that anxiety, worry, frustration and loneliness are not feelings that You want me to have. Please come and fill me with Your love. Let me feel your embrace and know that You are all I need in this life.

My reward awaits me. To Him be glory for ever and ever.

In Jesus' precious Name.....


Dorothy Champagne said...

I remember a time in my life when I had those feelings. But what you've said is so true. God is there through it all - no matter what - unconditionally.

Joyfulsister said...

Hey Sis ...
((( Hugz))) All I know is that I am blessed to have you as a sistah. I love how you come out of this post with hope and comfort in your spirit. Just knowing that even though you may feel this way at times, in your heart you know the Lord is always with you and holding you ever so close. Even in the midnight hours he is there watching over you, he knows, he sees, he cares. even the tears. We are all human and we will feel alone at times even with a family, God understands and his word is there to fill you with himself. He loves you so my sister, and I want you to know I thank the Lord for allowing us to meet and keep in touch through our blogs. Stay encouraged.

Luv ya Lorie

HisFireFly said...

He is God and He is good. He knows your heart, sees your tears, and hears your cries. He loves to be loved by you!

I also believe that in His time He will bring people alongside you to be His arms in this life.

Keep on worshipping with that thankful spirit of yours, He is well pleased.

Nancie said...

Thank God that He is with us always and He alone can fill the emptiness in our heart! He will never leave us nor forsake us. I am praying for you. May God guide and provide for your every need. Thank you for your encouraging comment and thanks for participating in my give-away. Your feedback is valuable and precious. Thanks for every encouragement. Thank God that we can mutually encourage one another in this pilgrim journey :) and through blogging. Take care. May God bless you with His peace and joy always, and continue to send you many precious friends to share His love. ((Hugs))